Monday, March 28, 2005
So once again, I got magligned for being a "top scorer" and a total clutz in SS lesson. Well, WHAT. THE. HECK. You think I don't want to drop the freaking subject? I already only have 6 subs, that's what. I wouldn't want to suffer in your tormenting drones about "how intelligent I am" and how I "don't deserve to be here to waste your time". My English? Good? By HELL, I don't know how they graded my standard but as far as I know, I am NOTHING compared to the many others that could slap me down with ease. I so WISH I had good English to give myself a name with. You think I wanted to get near that 'Top 5' shit? I know I don't deserve that. YOU THINK I ACTUALLY ENJOY IT?! I don't CARE if you don't f*cking respect me. I don't CARE if you like hating on, insulting, mock my stupidity in your freaking lesson. But I f*cking CARE that I tried SO F*CKING HARD for SS and how you think I'm NOT GIVING A FLYING F*CK about it. THANK YOU FOR ACCUSING ME SO MUCH. THANK YOU FOR WASTING YOUR PRECIOUS TIME THAT I DON'T DESERVE. I APOLOGISE FOR MY STUPIDITY, IT WOULD'VE TAKEN GOD TO GET THIS MIRACLE THAT I LASTED TO SEC 5, OKAY?I know I'm not worth your time; you've hated me since the day I flunked your assignments. Thank you for wringing your brain juice dry so that you would get frustrated reading my work. I'm sorry, alright? I should've been born dyslexic, happy? God, I wonder why you wouldn't grant these people their wishes if you could tell the future and make me an illiterate or something; it would be better than me having opinions everywhere and rambling inane sh*t on this poor, innocent blog and the people reading it.
To every other teacher:
Mrs Chiu, I apologise for being such a recalcitrant and never ever handing you up my assignments on time. Getting you overdosed with Panadol every time my voice rang out in the class, and for trying to send us out when the homework is not due. I understand your concern, and I thank you for trying even though the 'sending pupils out of class' punishment has worn out. I do not find it an embarassment, seeing as thick as my facial skin might be, or as now Nick might think it is.. that wussypants.
Mrs Wong, thanks for teaching me the whole science shiznit for 5 years. Through these years, I have taken an appreciation to the subject, and from a flunkard I have gained distinctions to your generous actions. Consider that as a reciprocation of your hard work. Although we never really appreciated you blaming us, or changing our answers and making it such that it's to your own credit.. I don't mind. *shrugs* I suppose it's your way of teaching, whatever. You're nice, and yeah, thanks.
Mrs Hoe, the teacher who probably has made the most significant impression on me since the day I stepped out of SAPS. You are the teacher I respect the most; you are the one whom I look up to as a mentor, a friend, and a form of solace. I thank you for bringing us all up like your own children, being there for us through joy, sorrow, anger, and a lot of sweat and toil. Thanks for being there when we needed you: you are one unforgettable teacher.
Mr Chan, you understand us like we were your own children. You were the one that motivated us not only academically, but mentally. You drove the determination in us, and shifted our gears to full speed ahead. You were more like a brother, but now that you have the prettiest daughter, you now know how to empathise with students like us, and actually understand more. Many a times I've seen your determination and will fade, and sometimes, you even almost gave up. Well, although this child is willing to, you definitely shouldn't. The class needs something to back up on, and that's you. You did good, no matter how much we dissed you. Don't give up on the class, because many of them don't intend to give up on themselves just yet.
Right now, I'm on the brink of insanity, on the verge of giving up all hope. If coming to school only means to be dissed by teachers, get put down and mocked of my stupidity, then give me a jolly good reason as to why I should come to school, be vibrant and active in class, when all I get is nothingness..
So, right. I'm stuck between being an infamously notorious kid with a badass attitude or change myself into someone unknown, prefidous and completely.. well, un-Gloria-ish. I can't choose between the two, but I'll know soon enough, I guess.
anyhow whacked by gloria @ 3:25 pm