Tuesday, November 30, 2004
I've really got to get a grip.I'm starting to go back to my old self.. the darker side of me. The one that only confides in nobody. The one that leaves other people clueless of my emotions other than depression, sadness and the only one that keeps having delusionised thoughts and feelings. I've been crying these few days and my eyes hurt already. I really need to talk to someone, but I'll just end up in more tears. How stupid.
I really feel like just calling up someone.. or go out. I really need human contact. These few days.. is hell. My own parents arguing over trivial matters, my friendship falling apart, what more of sadness can devour me?
Plenty have consoled me, and although some have been ridiculous, I still want to say a "thank you". To think, my birthday's already coming soon, and yet I'm still crying like a mofo who's never watched a sad movie. In Aliman's words.. an emotional rollercoaster, lol. I now know nothing about who to really confide in. Why the hell do people even turn evil? Hasn't anyone thought that if everyone had no trace of evil, this world would be so much better? *sigh* Fucking hopeless, aren't I.
I'll end it here today.. I'm gonna suffer from depression soon or something. But no, I'm not gonna kill myself, sorry to say. People have told me that that sorta "solution" isn't smart, and I totally agree. Well, I feel better after using up like 2 tissue boxes, making my whole pillow wet, and ranting it all out here.
Sorry if you got pissed reading my ranting, but you chose to click! Lol.
anyhow whacked by gloria @ 8:49 am
Monday, November 22, 2004
Watched The Incredibles with Celest today.. (I didn't know it was monday, I thought it was on thursday xD) Both of us were a bit late becuase of me x.x My mum was rushing me and I was so absent-minded because of that. I forgot to being my specs... but I still could see pretty well since we were in the middle and in front.We were able to watch one trailer of which I do not know the name of, but was hella cute. We weren't sitting on our own seats, as our real seats were right smack in the middle of the theatre, and we didn't want to block anyone as we walked in. I treated her to popcorn and drinks, of which the popcorn wasn't finished ~__~ But the show was seriously cute. I just might upload some pictures here, I can't stand Jackjack, the little baby. *cuddles* Was sooooo cute with the hair.. Finally a movie of which I didn't start wailing over. I did start tearing at one part, but I didn't! HAR!
*slaps self*
Ow, okay.. sorry. x.o
Anyhow, we went to play in the arcade, of which I lost in almost every game *slaps forehead* I lost to Celest... x.x;; That must suck, but we did have fun. We later went to the library, and she dragged me to the children's section where I saw a schoolmate of which I didn't know the name. Then we went round a corner and we were both staring at one guy sitting there. At 1st I didn't think she was staring, but when she said "Ooh, got shuai ge there.." I was like "O.o You saw?"
Yes, such interesting life I have.. *lies back on a cloud and floats off*
anyhow whacked by gloria @ 2:59 pm
Thursday, November 11, 2004
Whoa, okay... so I haven't blogged for pretty long. x.X; Pretty busy gaming the shiet outta myself. Halo 2's out, and when I said 'out' I also mean sold out. *wails* I hope Uncle Felix bought it already >.< I'm not looking out for WoW, though. The only thing I like about it is the gfx for spells. <3 Starfall <3 (Yeah was pretty much a big Nightelves fan XD)But yeshh ANYHOOW. I miss all my friends, teachers (excluding some.. *coughcough*) and of course, teh results of my N levels are coming and it's freaking me out. I need a hug every now and then.. T-T Everyone's working... and I'm too spoilt to find a proper job. Go me. --v
But I'm feeling pretty lethargic these few days... and I sleep at 9/10 pm, mind you >:| Probably it's because I wake up at 6.30 and have nothing better to do... x.x; But yes... time... to go back to bed and sleep my hunger off.
anyhow whacked by gloria @ 10:04 am
Wednesday, November 03, 2004
Haven't written in a bit, no? ^^;Well, yesterday I cried in school.. again. *go me* Got a blasting from Tiger in the morning and was so embarrassed to just start sobbing in front of the HoD office. I bet every teacher thinks I'm a softie now. Doh! *slaps forehead in stupidity* What an idiot I was; trying to stop Tiger from calling up my parents.. what was I thinking? I have no right.
At least now.. I've learnt something. No, I still don't respect my principal. I respect my discipline master. He's someone of... well, he's just someone I respect, okaaaay. He deserves it, anyhoo.
Today school was... plain.. stupid. I don't see a point in coming back other than the coming back for the English courses and the Chemistry prac we had today. I'm beginning to like chem again.. Ms Chow > Ms Ong, fo shizzle my nizza. We had some cation test.. can't believe we never learnt this even though we're going for O's next year. Such.. basic shiet! And yet, had plenty of fun getting colors o.o; Jiamin's hand was smelling of Ammonia later, though. XD
Then when I went to find Tiger in the General Office and wanted to tell him what time my mum was available to come down to school, he said there was no need to since.. he already called my mum down earlier and was looking for me all over the school. He kinda reprimanded the lady at the reception asking her why of all places she could look for and not in the Chem lab. I was thinking about why he didn't announce it in the PA instead.. doh.
Then there was the English course. Was soo cool with Mr Cheesedale (pardon meh, but I forgot his real surname =x) or Nick. Probably due to my obsession with Caucasians, but urp, he was so kyooote! >< On our last "practical", he gave us a mock job interview, of which I was very very god damn happy to get full marks for. Bwahahahaha.. woulda taken his number if I wasn't busy laughing away with Jiamin and all. =x
We also did some storytelling, just that we had to do a story in casual register... Of which Jiamin and I did. (Btw, it's Goldilocks and the Three bears if you don't know) *wink*
She did the starting like: [As quoted from min's bloggy]
" Hey,you know wad?! That Goldilocks?! My god! She's lucky that she din got eaten up by the three bears! Know the three bears?! They live in a house in the forest!
One day mama bear cooks porridges for family, Papa bear says hot hot,they go walk walk! DArn Goldilocks! Daring isn't she? She went into the bear's house!
WAd the hell~ she even tasted the porridge! Bargurl!"
.....to be continued at tsuki dream.........
Well, since I'm supposed to continue it... *snickers*
She started eating the porridge from the big big big bowl lor. Take in one mouth, then shrieked, "Wah piang so hot!!" So she decided to try it from the medium-sized bowl. Took a mouthful too, and urked "Eeeew, cold sia. Put ice isit?" Her face not happy liao, then go over to the smallest bowl. "Wah, so nice!" and gobbled it all up. *cough PIG cough*
Feeling soooo full, she saw three chairs. *gestures* One BIG chair, one medium-sized chair, and a small chair. Sitting on the 1st one, she exclaimed "wah kao so hard.. my ass hurts!" And went over to the 2nd chair. Sinking into the soft cushions, she tried her hardest to get out of it. "Wah lao stupid chair, who want to sit so soft?!" And headed on to the smallest chair. "Hmm, not bad. *sits* Nice.. comfy... and - *falls over* Oops, broke it." *rubs bum* "My arse still hurts.." *cough Goldilocksisafatmoron cough*
She was so restless she decided to go upstairs to the bedroom and find herself a bed to sleep in. <*whispers to audience* Eat so much become so fat then break chair.. now eat finish want to sleep. Haiz, really pig ah!> "Wah so hard! My butt still hurts owkaaay! Stupid bed.." And heads over to the other one. *pretends to sink in again* "Doinks... keep sinking in, stupid middle-sized things." And shuffles her feet all the way to the smallest bed, and jumping in. "Woooweee~ So comfortable sia.. I can just start to slee - ZzZzzzZzzzz..."
Just then hor, the three bears came home from walking in the forest, thinking that they would have nice yummy porridge to eat. "*censored*, who the heck's been eating my porridge?!" The mama bear shrieked "Oh my my my my my, who daaares to eat my porridge?" The baby bear *picks up a 'bowl', pretends to empty it* "Kanasai. Someone ate ALL my porridge lor." The bears decide to sit down and think about who would invade their house: the big bad wolf doesn't eat porridge.. the three little pigs are better off dead if they tried entering.. so who? Their thoughts got interrupted by papa bear's booming voice: "*censored*, someone has been sitting in my chair!!" Then followed by mama bear's shrieking (yet again), "Oh my my my my my my, who daaaares to sit on my chair?" Then baby bear's wails were heard. "Kanasai lor! Someone broke my chair!"
The bears were determined to find out who the culprit was, but they thought they would think better after a nap, and headed upstairs for some rest. Little did they know...
"*censored* Who the... hell.. has made my bed untidy?!" Boomed papa bear's ferocious voice. "Oh my my my my my, who daaaares to sleep in my bed?" Shrieked mama bear. "Mummy, daddy..." The baby bear whispered. "Kanasai. She's on my bed."
I edited it a lil bit, so that it would seem better. Believe me, it would be much more hilarious if I acted it out instead of typed it. xD
Anyhow, I'm pretty happy today. I'm actually looking forward to chem lesson... and I need help on math. =x Miss Rozi and Miss Zizi are gonna kill me if I don't finish the hw I was supposed to hand up err, 1-2 weeks ago. xD
New song I like!!
[these.words//natasha.bedingfield]
These words are my own
Threw some chords together, the combination D-E-F
Its who I am, its what I do, and I was gonna lay it down for you
I tried to focus my attention, but I feel so A-D-D
I need some help, some inspiration, but its not coming easily
Tryin to find the magic,
Tryin to write a classic,
Dontcha know, dontcha know, dontcha know?
Wastebin full of paper,
clever rhymes- see ya later
These words are my own, from my heart flow,
I love you, i love you, i love you, i love you,
There's no other way to better say
I love you, i love you
Read some Byron, Shelley and Keates,
recited it over a hip-hop beat
I'm havin trouble sayin what i mean,
with dead poets and a drum machine
You know i had some studio time booked,
but i couldnt find the killer hook,
now you're gonna raise the bar right up,
nothin i write is ever good enough
These words are my own, from my heart flow,
I love you, i love you, i love you, i love you,
There's no other way to better say
I love you, i love you
These words are my own, from my heart flow,
I love you, i love you, i love you, i love you,
There's no other way to better say
I love you, i love you
I'm gettin off my stage
the curtains pull away
No ....... to hide behind
My naked soul exposes
woaaaaah
Tryin to find the magic,
Tryin to write a classic,
Dontcha know, dontcha know, dontcha know?
Wastebin full of paper,
clever rhymes- see ya later
These words are my own, from my heart flow,
I love you, i love you, i love you, i love you,
There's no other way to better say
I love you, i love you
I love you I love you, thats all i got to say
cant think of a better way, and thats all i got to say
I love you, is that ok?
anyhow whacked by gloria @ 5:28 pm