Monday, May 23, 2005
Was such a busy day yesterday! x_x;Woke up at 0600 thanks to my daddy's alarm clock (silly left it on even though he's overseas) and had to get up to his room to switch it off. My sister didn't even notice it was ringing. TT^TT
Then I tried to go back to sleep for a good 2 hours, but failed to do so, so I just roamed around the house and did some cooking before we went to church.
After church, we went to IMM with my godparents to have lunch. Then I went to my aunt's house while my sister went to some wedding. Of course, being in my aunt's house would mean... shopping!! ^^
So yeah, we shopped all over, and homgz, the dressing room's size is fking spacious. It was almost like my room! Just filled.. with a lot of mirrors. Yeah, now that I look at it, the dressing room is almost as big as my own room. Damn. But yeah, Celest and I bought a few bras and other stuff. Hooray for matching items. XD
After that, Celest and I went to Kinokuniya (we got lost for a while). I saw SHELVES FULL of Japanese comics, INCLUDING Bleach!! HOMGZ. I'm so going to go and buy the artbooks if they have. I couldn't make Celest stay since it'd be pretty bad of me. So we walked along, and I saw more shelves of music scores! Piano, but heck, any instrument can play the melody can le lah.. I want it so bad! Not that I can play the piano like expert, but.. wouldn't it be cool to keep some? ._.
Then I left ah yi and Celest because uncle Ming came to fetch them, while Farhan and Jie came to take me home. We went to Swensen's while I just sat there asking them about smoking habits. You know, if I really become a journalist, I'll make a full-time review on smoking and what people that don't smoke think about it, what's wrong and good with them thinking like that, inquire of the feelings of smokers, the how's and why's.. of course include the lame "smoking-kills-you" part, and end it with a neutral one. Not a negative or positive to smoking, but just neutral. No hurting of both sides, even though I know I'll really never ever ever smoke. You people may now call it a habit, but even though I've been offered, been around, dieing slowly and unconsciously with smokers, their main reason of being social smokers is that "it's a habit. Once someone else lights it up, you'll start to, as well. When you're walking alone, I just light it up because I have nothing else to do." So yeah, I'm used to walking by myself - why would I need something else to accompany me? My future 'documentary' would be slightly contradictory of my own statements, but I think I'll be able to work on it. I think. I need a better grasp on my English before I get to work on journalism, though. ^^"
But anyway, I had a fun trip. I await more shopping trips!! \o/
PS: Me want to watch this!
Min,
You have your side of your story, I have mine. Whatever we saw might have been a misunderstanding. Whichever. You know I never cared about what those selfish people think - just that they want to do what they please and indulge in temporary pleasures, getting away with it with feeble excuses and putting the blame on other people. I despite these sort of people, and you don't have to speak up for them. I know I was never liked in the class for my arrogance and stupidity. But I never cared. I was used, mistreated, mocked.. you might've realised, you might have not. The agony of smiling it away for 5 years - I've had enough. If other people have been outcasts and can live it that way, I don't want to be lied to anymore. I don't want people to take pity and make it worse. If I have to, I might as well stay out of everyone's path and find someone equally arrogant, stupid and like me, a klutz. No one lives happily alone, you know that. As heart-wrenched as I am typing this, I wish to express my point of view. I hate none of you, but if you bear a single grudge, I'll never step in your path again. I hate trying to "hong" angry people. I despite people who use their anger to make others scared. When I asked, I actually asked you nicely. You were the one with the grim face.
I had enough then.
Everytime I got angry, I told myself to let it go and smile the fuck away because I know everyone thinks I suck already. I hate lying to everyone with a fake smile, being all "cheery" and "optimistic". I have had enough. Now you see the cowardly, puny, and sad side of me. The one who hides alone to cry. The one that never ceases to get all pessimistic and prefer a solitary life. If it pleases you to know, I was never someone who can talk. You've seen my timid and introverted side. That - is the side I've always tried to hide and put up a brave front with. My alter ego is prominent, what you have seen for over 4 years. I will not speak to any of you, since all you do is promote more coldness, and I will do so as well. I do not initiate, and since neither party will, this will never work out.
You've seen it from my point of view now.
I don't choose friends, because if I do, I know in their hearts all I see is pity. I don't need more of that. I don't want any of that - all I ask is for true friendship. Indeed, you've given me some of that and more; but the choice of talking is not mine. Because I know it's awkward to just talk to you again. I know how you'll react. What's the point of doing so if all I'll end up with is looking even more pitiful and dumber? I thank you for the 4 years of friendship. But if my solitary life doesn't affect you, I don't see why I can't try to live my life that way. Xie le.
anyhow whacked by gloria @ 9:30 am