Tuesday, May 17, 2005
I think I need to seek help, although taking remedial from Shen lao shi would be pretty uh, awkward. Never in my life have I ever bothered with Chinese vocab.. if I tried now, it's like learning and perfecting French at 62 when you lived all your life in China speaking only mandarin. Kinda exaggerated, but whatever - I am at a loss. I can't possibly stuff in 5 years' worth of Chinese into me, and NO I won't regret. I'll either buck up in Chinese or Humanities. Those two are my prioritised problems, since they're both F9 subjects.I can't work on Humanities, since Tiger practically hates me to the core, and loathes my work attitude despite honest efforts. And attempts at Mandarin is futile, or at least it'll end up that way. I don't know. Maybe I'll work something out soon. Thank God mathematics is settled; I got Jerrold to teach me every Thursday, of which he assures me an A for O's! Haha, I know it's impossible, but the impossible happens.. meaning that if I do get an distinction or at least, enter NP's Mass Comm, I'll give him a biiig treat. =P Besides, he can consider that a late bday pressie. *nudgenudge* Well, at least I'm not that disheartened about English, since he claimed he got a C6 for Mid-years too, and emerged with an A2 for O's. Convincing, but VS' standard of English is so high compared to us; moreover we're N(A)! Sigh. v__v;
Nothing else happened much in school, just that I don't think it's going to go right again.
Imagine if I had never said that.
Wouldn't someone ELSE have done so?
Wouldn't she have realised we LIED?
Well, if I didn't all this bullshit wouldn't have happened.
Even if I did, so what? You want me to apologise and tell her to go away? I thought you found nothing wrong with her lessons so I asked her to stay on. Is that request that ridiculous?!
You handed me something and expected me to know what I was to do with it? Or do you want a Grammy Award? I have to put up with that "no, not mine, don't ask me lah. who ask you go call the teacher" attitude and face? WOW, THANKS FOR THE BIG SLAM HINT!
Try being in someone else's shoes.
If someone hands you something reluctantly, then walks off.. of course you'd make nothing of it. When you ask, he just stares at you in the eye with loath and tells you "not my prob, you settle it yourself lah!"
How spiffy is that.
Angry? I would call it sheer confusion and irritability. Who in the world would not feel pissed when you see someone totally ignore you when you ask nicely? Who in blazing HELL could withstand such big hints when you've got an expression like "shut up la, who ask you do this in the 1st place".
Not like I care.
Not like YOU care.
Point is - if you really never did care, why bother to be friends and blatantly lie to me, getting angry over something I'm still oblivious about? Whichever. If you're happy that way, I'm fine with that. Last thing I need is to make someone angry or upset over something silly like this. You're happy, I'm good with that. Happy?
N-16 ahead; read only if you're not subject to audacities and obscenities.
Can EVERYONE stop bitching at me!? 1st it's teachers that make themselves look so honourable that they're going through fire and hell for us, and they had a bad childhood.. and so on. All that talk will end up in US having a bad childhood, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
Then it's my own SISTER. What, she can make herself look like she's always hurt. REALITY CHECK, have you ever cried for someone ELSE? Have you ever made someone's day BETTER? And not taking things for GRANTED? You do, and always will, damn it! I can't believe I cried for you. I can't believe you smoke. I can't believe you anymore, damn it. There's no fucking person in this damn world to trust anymore.
HAPPY NOW, GOD? You made my life hell, because I made it hell for others before. My retribution now, HAPPY? Everyone hates me, and I don't give a fucking rats ass. I hate everyone to the fucking core. Call me a hater, call me insane - I want to get out of this asylum they all call "school", and the sooner the fucking better!! If the people in here are sane, I certainly won't be if I go on.
FUCK THIS. ALL OF THIS.
anyhow whacked by gloria @ 3:24 pm