Tuesday, July 17, 2007
2nd day didn't turn out any better either. I was on the brink of tears. I hate it when she keeps pressuring and accusing me of things.Don't worry, it's not my doctor that's being mean, she's the kindest and most patient with me since I keep forgetting things. I just hate that other woman for blaming me for everything.I'd rather be hit or insulted, but I hate being accused more than anything else.
I thought watching a movie would cheer me up, but as I realise tomorrow's another day.. My heart just sank. ):
I want to be free.
But the doctor has done nothing wrong to me. In fact, I owe her an eternity for her gratitude and patience with me. She is a wonderful gynaecologist that would go out of her way for her patients, staff and colleagues.
My parents and auntie Jennifer are people I owe as well, without auntie Jennifer's recommendation, I would've never gotten it. I am also in debt of my parents. As much as I want to be free, there is no escaping this. There is no way anyone can convince them otherwise either, even if they see this.
Even though people might tell me "talk to them, they might understand", they do not see the fact that they're my parents, and my parents never understand. No matter how you tell them, they'll believe that they're way of doing things is right. They are NOT open-minded to opinions of how they should teach their children.
My parents believe in doing things in the present, and do not really see into the future as the only thing for them in the future is older age, and not what we see because what they dreamed of as children were never fulfiled, and are thought to stick to the harshest reality. By living the only way possible - fight even though you don't like it. Don't work for something that's far away.
On the contrary, I am quite the opposite.
To me, perfection comes slowly. Nothing is impossible, just really really difficult. If I were to do quantum science at the age of 12, that isn't impossible, it's just really difficult. If I wanted to do it, I'm pretty damn sure I would give it a try and keep going until I got it.
Forcing someone to do or study something against their own will never has results.
I don't know why my parents STILL don't see that.
I wanted to go into BPGHS. I didn't come off too badly because I was given the chance to study in a school I wanted to go to, instead of him shoving me to "just another neighbourhood school" just to be in the Express stream.
I have no qualms into coming into a Normal Academic stream - I still get to take O levels, and come out prim and proper and have really good friends.
I highly doubt I would've gotten the same results (in a good way) if I went to another school just to be in the Express stream. I probably would've taken up smoking, talk in sentences with Hokkien vulgarities placed here and there, and just to be sure you get my drift, I would be Mandarin-proficient instead. (DUN DUN DUN.)
If any random people happen to chance upon this and you happen to be a parent, don't destroy your child's future. Let them live their dream, help them and you know anything can be done - one step at a time.
anyhow whacked by gloria @ 10:36 pm