I've really got to get a grip.
I'm starting to go back to my old self.. the darker side of me. The one that only confides in nobody. The one that leaves other people clueless of my emotions other than depression, sadness and the only one that keeps having delusionised thoughts and feelings. I've been crying these few days and my eyes hurt already. I really need to talk to someone, but I'll just end up in more tears. How stupid.
I really feel like just calling up someone.. or go out. I really need human contact. These few days.. is hell. My own parents arguing over trivial matters, my friendship falling apart, what more of sadness can devour me?
Plenty have consoled me, and although some have been ridiculous, I still want to say a "thank you". To think, my birthday's already coming soon, and yet I'm still crying like a mofo who's never watched a sad movie. In Aliman's words.. an emotional rollercoaster, lol. I now know nothing about who to really confide in. Why the hell do people even turn evil? Hasn't anyone thought that if everyone had no trace of evil, this world would be so much better? *sigh* Fucking hopeless, aren't I.
I'll end it here today.. I'm gonna suffer from depression soon or something. But no, I'm not gonna kill myself, sorry to say. People have told me that that sorta "solution" isn't smart, and I totally agree. Well, I feel better after using up like 2 tissue boxes, making my whole pillow wet, and ranting it all out here.
Sorry if you got pissed reading my ranting, but you chose to click! Lol.
anyhow whacked by gloria @ 8:49 am
herself:
gloria sinclair chua;
nineteen;
08121988;
saggitarius;
dragon;
singaporean;
a photographer wannabe,
an aspiring hairstylist,
and a hopeless apparel designer.
would die for:
a score of 20 and below.
some form of world peace.
the Japanese language.
a Japanese dictionary.
learning guitar/piano/drums.
an mp3.
new earpieces.
a synthesizer/keyboard.
a Gibson Thunderbird IV bass. <3
an LCD monitor.
a laptop.
an art tablet.
a New Urban Male bag.
a nice jacket/sweater.
BMW X-5 SERIES!!@~!@~!!
a new pencilbox.
her own skateboard.
Wacom Graphire 3.
a small wooden manequinn.
new spectacles.
a pair of twin kodachi.
a trip to Florida.
a new house.
a refurbished room.
a walk-in wardrobe.
infinite haircuts.
red hair.
purple hair.
blue hair.
gold highlights.
red highlights.
white highlights.
coloured hair extensions.(OMGSOLIAN)
a new watch.
loathes:
coffee
bullies
gore
green
bad hair days
Adidas
vegetables
heights
snooty asswipes
tone-deaf "singers"
ingrates
flying critters
storms ._.
the dark
silence
liars
alter-ego o_O
attention seekers
people that give it to them
ultimatums
loves:
angmohs oho!
family
friends
SHOPPING
picking on bullies :D
literature
this and this and this and this
art
anime
music
musicians
ROCCKKK
surprises
lightsticks! <3
gaming~
the beach
KoF~
Ben & Jerry's
keeping promises
challenges
aishah.
aliman.
bryan.
cassie.
cheryl.
daisy.
edmundooi.
eunice.
farhanah.
jiemin.
jerry.
josline.
kaitou!
kelly.
moonkian.
noel.
renny.
ron.
rona ♥
shosho.
tiffany.
travis.
koyo.
valerie!
weixiang.
william.
yanliang.
yaozhong.
yin ♥
- GazetteShop.
- NihilistGiraffe.
- DeviantART.
- Fark.com.
- lyrics.
- megatokyo.
- orisinal.
- endofworld.
- theresheis!
- theresheis!II
Blogger.
Photoshop.
Imageshack.
Google.com
Stock.
Stock #2.
Recently
way back then:
September 2004
October 2004
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